1. Undisclosed

my need to belong
our need
when I was born I did not know that I was separate
did not know that I was a boy or a girl
such is the way of a fool
I was taught this, and more
I am contrary, and
seek to unravel so many teachings

I have heard, ‘once you have been to the mountain, you can never go back’
like so many cliches, there is truth in this
yet, a thing not penetrated will gather carbuncles of opposition
fuel for the fires of hierarchy
those with higher vistas disdain those in the valley
a practiced fool, I have been up and down, up and down, many times
I am contrary, and
wish to dissolve metaphors that are divisive

now, I ponder this-
once you have been to the ocean
you will always carry your heart with you
whether in the mountains, the valley
or on the winding roads that we build every day to quickly reach some future destination
and blind ourselves to the here and now places

at times I feel that I am running the gauntlet
soldiers on the left and right
striking to be correct, rather than helpful
their cudgels of platitudes and complaint at once barely scratch the surface
and so pierce my delicate nature
my need to go deep
our need

a being is always described by her circumstance and the garments she wears
I will admit I have cloaked myself in dullness in pursuit of some concept of safety
while my fool’s presence has grown cabochons of gems
I can no longer hide
a fool must don her crown of many colors
I knew this day would come
It comes for us all

my unique flame lights some darkly place
our flames each light a void
I am contrary, and
wish to stand for my inviolable self

…more of this anon